Would You Rather
by NeedlessToSay-NeedMoreToThink
Summary: The past can not be changed; all we can do is live with it, or wish it were different. Noah-centric, still deciding pairings
1. Brains or Beauty

**Hello, and welcome, to My First Ever Shot at a TDI fanfic! A.k.a, Would you Rather?  
Basically, me and some friends were doing the "Would you Rather" game, TDI came on, and D.J's bunny (a.k.a, the plot bunny) sprang into my brain!  
So it's pretty much random drabbles about choices which all connect to form a story (eventually) - such is life, after all XD**

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Chapter 1 A:

**Knowing what you know today, Would you rather,  
Change your past  
Or live with it?**

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_Noah (several years after TDI)  
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For a while, I was into questions, the type which makes one think "What will I do?" if such and such happens. Such and such, of course, would reference events so unlikely, incredulous, or out-and-out dumb, that they were not worth the time I spent thinking about them. Would I rather die old and alone or young and in love? Would I prefer to be famous but destitute or infamous and wealthy? Even the trivial questions concerning my favorite color made me cringe; I feared every answer I gave would impact my future irreparably.

But the years went by, step by step, and with them flew away my frivolous superstitions. I no longer delved so deeply into the world, and thus the world began to make some sense. I began to examine other people rather than myself, and while it gave me a negative view of them, at least in general, it took away from my own self-loathing. Yes, it must sound strange to hear, but by hating others I loved myself all the greater.

It was my complicated mind which did me in in the end, I suppose. That, or... I shudder to think it... teenage hormones. But regardless, something changed my views, and made me question once again what in this world truly mattered. If I had to pinpoint the precise moment of change, I would trace it all back to that dastardly camp. That mind-numbing, soul-crushing purgatory which gave me the most bittersweet experience on Earth. No experience in my life has come close to matching it; whether that is good or bad, I can not say. But all that occurred to me on that island I can never erase nor fully ignore. The impact was too great, too long lasting, too surreal.

Life-long friendships were formed right before me; romances kindled in my love-longing gaze. So I read my books and ignored them, foolishly, rather than joining beside them in their childhood journey. Thus missing out on my own experiences, my own chance to discover what could have been, what _must _have been right before me. It was all lost, because I would not look for it; I was the lackluster know-it-all amidst young souls, an infant flung coldly into the experienced, prepared adult world. A brainiac who thought he knew everything, but now knows today... I knew nothing at all.

…Which brings me back to the questions; I guess one can not truly escape them. All we do is add on as we live our lives, as we make decisions we end up regretting. So… do I prefer knowing what I could have had, only to know that I have lost and never will have it? Or would it have been better if the light had never been lit, only to be extinguished so cruelly, and justly, regrettably.

I already made that decision; unfortunately, it is far too late for me to change the past. But if I had known back then what I now know today… who knows...  
...I might have found my favorite color.

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_(Years Earlier, at Playa de Losers)_

Chapter 1 B: Brains or Beauty

The poolside was refreshingly brilliant, a wonderful change from the grotesque Wawanakwa. I could lounge beside it without fear of sharks... until Izzy arrived, that is. But before that, life was good, as good as life ever can get. I was accomplished in having lost for I had won this chance at solitude.

Bathing in the sunlight, a book in my hands, I was content to be by myself. The others had greeted me and I had said hello back, but afterward, the three of us scarcely interacted. But that was all good and dandy; our personalities somewhat conflicted. The Sexist, the Brute, and the Genius were hardly a team worth holding a candle to.

What more, my schedule was far from empty, what with my "arduous reading" regime. Not to mention my hours of laying around idly, hungering for a challenge, or at the very least some tiny form of mental stimulation! I was forbidden from using my game stations - "Can't let you reveal you were voted off yet, bra" - and any other form of "fun" was cruelly withheld from me, making the lap of luxury as painful and undesirable as the horrible camp I had just escaped. Speaking of...

Within a few days of my own departure, everything took a turn for the worse. The next ex arrived at the Playa; upon seeing him, my brain nearly vomited. It was Justin, the Hunk, the Beauty, the utter bane of a Brain's existence. He knew nothing, for he had no need to, and he never spoke for his looks conveyed all. So captivating and so alluring was he, that it was utterly, downright disgusting.

I would not say that I was jealous, though in my defense, I had every right to be. He had lasted longer than me, after all, without any real fair reason as to why. He had more-or-less done _nothing _while I had worked my hardest to earn my keep!... All right, up until the whole dodge ball incident... but I had cheered on my team still, right?

Whereas Justin... well, what had he done? He had smiled a few times for the camera. He had flexed and winked and waved; he said a sentence, and the girls all swooned. Not to mention Owen and the viewers back home, who could not see past the front to his ugly innards.

All they could see was this pretty-boy nothing, whom somehow... somehow... had surpassed me.

My big brain had taken a beating and it was far from happy to face that. Beauty, beating brains? Justin, beating _me?_ A frown creased over my face as I put my book down in disgust. These thoughts had ruined my appetite for the one hobby which allowed me escape them.

I prayed that the cameras were elsewhere as I thoughtfully stared out into space. I could envision them leap at the chance to capture me rapt in my internal calamity, exploiting it for the masses as if it were mere entertainment. But from the corner of my eye I saw something move, followed by the flash of something shiny. I sighed as I awaited the fateful camera lens to spring upon me like a wild animal.

However, to my surprise, the camera never showed. I cocked my head back towards the movement, and to my surprise, to my disdain, I recognized it. The shine had not been a lens; it was an overly-lotioned, bronze, toned chest, which strutted towards me like it owned the place. Like it owned _me_ and I was trash.

Justin walked over to me, still smiling, though I knew the grin hid ulterior motives. He stopped next to me, raising a brow. "So Noah," he started nonchalantly. A towel adorned his shoulders which I just-then-noticed were sleeked with water. He moved it to his face questioning, "How have you been getting along?"

Pulling over the beach chair beside mine and sitting on its edge, Justin looked towards me with mild interest. Surprisingly, he seemed rather ominous, like the cliche cat happily toying with its cliche mouse. I could have imagined it, but in that instant, I thought his face grew feral, that his smile smirked. I shook away the feeling as he shook back his hair and ever-so-kindly doused me with water. I could not prevent myself from scowling, but it did nothing to damper his smile.

Rolling my eyes, I responded crossly, "Oh, I'm just _dripping _with joy," before attempting to reclaim the book I had put down mere seconds before. Hopefully he would get the hint and leave, thus bothering me no further; as much _fun _as it sounded like talking to Justin would be, I refused to subject myself to his "Justininess." I had already faced more than enough embarrassing incidents on this show to earn me a few nicknames when I returned to school; I neither needed nor desired another nickname nor accidental encounter to be harassed for. But before I could grab the novel, Justin's hand shot out and grabbed mine. His reflexes were dauntingly fast; I had only time to stare at him perplexed before he released me and smiled mischievously.

"Wait a moment," he requested quietly, his words traced with the slightest demand. His eyes held a dangerous gleam; I could tell they were guarding a secret.

"What is it?" I queried annoyed, unsettled, both by his actions and his unending smile. Bringing one finger to his lips and pointing his left thumb behind him, he motioned to the bushes he had previously walked through.

"The cameras will be here soon. Follow me somewhere... private..." Saying so, he stood back up, walking off without another word. Not even bothering to see if I was following him, he glided towards the hotel.

At first I sat there mutely trying to make sense of what had just happened. The whole exchange, however tiny, left me baffled as a box. I had never heard the pretty boy speak so much; I doubted that anyone had. And it was unnerving to know he had more to say, but that I would have to subject myself to his game first to hear it.

... I could have just went back to my book. I _should _have ignored the entire conversation. I knew he was trouble from the moment I saw him; they do say that the devil is tempting. But for some reason, one I can not justify, I had a desire to follow after. Perhaps it was my desire to escape the cameras, perhaps my desire to feed my unquenchable curiosity.

Curiosity did kill the cat, or mouse as the case may be. I knew this, but I could not help myself, a fact I would later blame on gaming withdrawal. I was desperate for entertainment and did not care about its side effects; a boy in the grasp of boredom is a very impressionable person.

He had set up Step One of his Challenge, and I was helpless to turn it down.  
There was no way I could have known that this was a game I was far from ready for.

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**Yeah! so chapter one, done. And I'll take anything! Suggestions? Questions? Comments? Critique?  
****Anyways, the first part will always be the character thoughts, so if you're not into that you can skip it, followed by a part of what happened years earlier at TDI** (which will later relate to their thoughts, if that makes sense)- **I'll try to stay IC, and hopefully jump around POVS (if anyone's interested in this anyway)  
Thanks!**


	2. Of Players and Losers

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**Hmm... so I post a chapter, and two days later the site crashes. Lol - well I guess I'll take it with a grain of salt rather than as a sign of things to come ^.^  
Speaking of, should probably include some warnings now .  
Warnings: I'll be using more-so the TDA version of Justin, where he is evil MWAHAHA - so if you hate that version, sorry! umm still deciding on pairings (which I'll explain at the bottom) but there likely will be slash in some form or other... flashbacks (eventually) as well as.. futureforwards? Eh, don't know what to call them. Anyway, that's it for warnings, as of now ^.^  
Disclaimer: Don't own... **

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Chapter 2 (A)

**Not knowing the outcome, would you rather  
Always lose,  
Or never play?  
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_Noah (Several years after TDI)  
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While the rest of the world was growing stronger, I had already begun the prudent process of decaying; there is a very fine line between growing and dying and a point where one will sheepishly cross over to the next. We all reach that point eventually, and when we do is up to us. I merely approached it faster... a lot faster than any one should have to; out of all the five-or-so races I have ever been a part of, of course I win the one where the victor is axed.

Yeah me.

But I have never been one to complain excessively (which you can argue, if you must) and therefore, it would seem a waste of time to wallow in years which have escaped me, which I can never alter and can only lament over. Yet at the same time, it seems that I _must _find them, if only to see where those years went awry; if unable to learn from my mistakes, what reason is there to go on? It would be easiest just to give up. It would be best just to not play at all.

Sometimes, it is easy to fail, and giving up just skips that step. Admitting failure I find pathetic; getting around it, I find admirable. I can not be fired if I quit first, can not be defeated if I exit the game. You can not win and I can not lose. What alternative could possibly beat that?

Well, other than winning, of course... but winning is not always an option.

Which leads me to my dilemma; is it time for me to "just quit?" This game of life has been filled with horrors I can never hope to defeat. The boss at the end of the tunnel is a little thing we humans call failure, and it is by far the hardest opponent I have ever and _will _ever face. I can only prolong the inevitable for so long before it consumes me. There is no away around it, only above it, no way beyond it, only through it.

...Try as hard as I do to overcome, I succumb to its mighty force time and again. It is an undying, invincible opponent; no one can escape his losses indefinitely. Failure will find us, and failure will win. We can keep hiding but must all face it eventually... they say to be strong in the face of adversity, but failure knows me too well, and can see past my farce.

... I do not know if I can face the fact that failure has all but beaten me.

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_(Years Earlier at Playa de Losas)_

Chapter 2 B - Of Players and Losers

_Justin's POV_

For a moment I almost wondered whether or not he would actually come. It did not overly matter, there were others to choose from, but it would be horribly unfair to not get my first pick. Having grown used to getting my way, I was unsurprised when he walked in, but the fact that he had brought his book along both annoyed and amused me greatly; it was a slap in the face to my importance.

His wilted face looked at me in boredom and my pang of angry-amusement grew. How could he, how _daring _was he, to be uninterested in what I had to say? Anyone else would have died at the chance to speak with me let alone to see me in private. It was oddly funny that there was an exception, and even funnier that the exception was Noah.

"Well, what is it?" he questioned dully, flipping idly through the pages. I didn't answer, only smiled, forcing his eyes to glance towards my own. His eyebrows rose almost nervously, making it difficult for me to respond; it was far too fun seeing him this way, so in the dark, and so painfully confused by it.

I'm sure he thought I was a moron, which made him a moron in my eyes, and I struggled to remember that he was intelligent despite his unintelligent attitude towards me. But to base his entire opinion on my looks... did he _really _think it could make me less perfect? Some of us are lucky enough to have it all, great looks, intelligence, charm. And while _others _of us aren't so lucky, it does not give their kind the excuse to belittle mine.

As if he had heard me, the look of fear left his face and he impatiently crossed his arms. "Well?" he questioned again. "Go on - Or have you lost the capacity for speech?"

I kept the feeling of rage behind my smile, knowing my next course of action could make or break my proposal. "Noah," I began, "Why the tone? Aren't we all friends here?"

He narrowed his eyes and went back to his book, muttering, "Sorry, I must have missed that memo." I inwardly cursed his stubbornness before switching my thoughts to a new tactic.

"Listen, I know you're still angry... -" His eyes shot up in mock surprise.

"Oh, over the backstabbing? Never, why never!" he remarked, his voice sarcastic and calm but clearly untrue.

"...But you have to remember that they voted me out also," I continued, "and that I am just as angry as you are." I smiled wider, lying best as I could, "I was cheated in the same way that you were."

At this, he looked back towards me. A different expression had come over his eyes. "That, I admit, I am curious about - why did they vote for you, anyway?"

The feelings of betrayal from days before came back to me without warning. Ignoring them, I shook my head, grinning wider in an attempt to distract him. "I, don't know," I said, faking sincerity. He raised an eyebrow as if he didn't believe me. "But that doesn't matter," I waved dismissively, cutting him off as he tried to interject - It seemed I had finally caught his interest; he was staring at me, waiting attentively. "What matters is this, and only this -"

"There is a way for us to get back at them."

The silence which followed my announcement was unending and unexpected, only breaking with his sarcasm, as he stared at me like I was joking. "Oh _really_?" he began condescendingly. "And tell me, what do you plan to do? Ask the winner nicely for his money? Maybe wink and put him into a coma, and then steal it before he can wake?" He rolled his eyes and turned to leave, his expression becoming cross. "Or outright sabotage him and throw him to the dogs? Sorry to tell you - that tactic only works once."

I had no idea how to answer as I had been unprepared for his response; his ability to confuse me so easily left me all the angrier, and made it harder for me to think straight. "Noah, I think you misunderstand," I stated, trying to sound as kind as possible.

He stopped in his tracks and turned back around. "Sorry, Justin. I understand perfectly, and I could care less for your "wondrous" scheme - I refuse to work with a cheater, regardless of what said-cheater is planning."

As he started once more to leave, I questioned whether or not to stop him. Was he really the best choice available or would Eva or Ezekiel work better? Everything argued against him; he was the least deserving, most annoyingly imperfect person at camp. He topped my list of worst people I'd ever been exposed to, but - he was the only one who had been on my team. He seemed to despise me, but he was intelligent. My charms had no hold over him, but he was crafty. He was lazy, but he was driven. All in all, he was the perfect candidate.

"Noah," I said again as I reached out and grabbed his arm. Touching him was unsettling, but would be worth it if he listened. He angled his body towards me and gave me a look which screamed annoyance. "I have no intention of sabotaging anyone. All I'm doing is trying to help you."

He shrugged off my hand and faced me fully, his stoic front becoming irritated. "Do not insult me by trying to trick me; I know a snake when it slithers past me. If you had ever really been on my side, I would not be presently here at the Playa. The team would not have voted me off, and I would still have a chance at the prize. You know I am here due to you(**1**)."

Earlier events came back to mind and I realized his words had some basis. But the realization didn't make me feel guilty; on the contrary, I felt he deserved it. So what if I had done some last minute scheming behind camera and turned the game to his disadvantage? It was the way a real player played; if Noah didn't know that, it would make my next move all the easier.

"Well, what if there were a way?" I questioned, pretending to wonder aloud to myself. "A way for me to fix this for you? Would you be willing to allow me?"

He scowled before snapping, "How? Can you magically fly back in time? Well patent that skill and sell it, but otherwise realize you can not make this up to me."

I didn't reply right away but pretended to be deep in thought. "... What if I could get you back at the camp?" I questioned, draining my acting skills for honesty. His eyes widened slightly, though skeptically, in surprise, and his scowl turned softer like he thought he'd misheard me.

"What do you mean?" he wondered confusedly, finally willing to hear what I had to say.

Slowly, my fake smile turned real (**2**), knowing the "genius" had taken the bait.

"There is a way to get back on the show, Noah - And you and I are going to find it."

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_The funny thing of the matter is.. I had thought he was about to apologize_

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**Well that was just a random Noah thought at the bottom in case you were wondering. Anyways...****Thank you guys so much for the reviews! That really made my day - I'm sorry I didn't answer individually, but I just looked at them yesterday and decided to post a chapter instead. Hopefully, it conveys the same appreciation. ^.^  
Noah's fun to write though. Justin, on the other hand... ugh...  
and as for notes  
(1) - this will be explained later on in a flashback, so if it doesn't make sense, that's why  
(2) - he was smiling at Noah's expense, not because he was helping him (just in case that part didn't make sense either)**

**So as for the pairing thing... normally, when my mind comes up with a story there are several possible ways it will go. However, the different routes my mind has for this one all involve different couples, so rather than say what will happen, I figured I would ask who you guys like seeing together. That way, I can choose which route to follow without ruining the actually storyline - yeah, I hope that made sense XD  
Well I'll have an official poll in my profile, but if you want you can post other ones here - I'm fine with slash, het, a mix, whatever. So thanks again, and I love all the feedback! Keep letting me know what you guys think! ^.^  
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